“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are all in harmony.”
First and foremost, we don’t find balance… we must create balance for ourselves. In creating balance, I would first ask yourself: what is most important to you? Make this your priority.
We can only do so much, and over the last year I think many have and are continuing to be tested in this. I have also been tested with this many times in the last year or so. What has been really highlighted for me is needing to stick to my priorities, which took a backseat among pressing issues… but not as critical as my health or those I love. Having had three burnouts, I have learned some key lessons including to make my well-being an absolute priority. Why? So I can live the life I want to lead and be there for those I love. As parents, when we can show our children our self-care is paramount, they understand it’s value and it eases their anxiety knowing we can take care of ourselves. Children are very sensitive to their care-givers needs… even if they don’t appear to be. They rely on us. This couldn’t be more true than now, while our world seems to be in a state of chaos and children’s sense of normalcy and routine also being impacted. So what is our role in this as parents? To model how to stay centred, focused on our values, and practice a large dose of self-care.
My life experiences, including being taught how to practice meditation and breathwork as a child, has inspired my life work. For me it’s healing and I first hand understand what it means when the nervous system goes into a chronic dorsal and shutdown state. It’s hard sometimes to take a step back when there are so many demands on your plate and others need your support, but this is really a test as to what’s most important. I share with others, “if you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.” Self-care is not being selfish, but being centred in self so you can be the person you want to be for yourself and for those you love.
Part of my practice to stay centred is meditation every morning and focusing on all my blessings. I also make time for just me, my walks, runs, swims, yoga and moving! Making sure I treat myself in some way every day – massaging pure essential oils into my skin, dancing to music with my daughter, making myself a delish smoothie, listening to soothing music while I work, reading a soul-filling book… and regular massage, craniosacral or energy healing work. While we can’t currently fully explain the science of how energy impacts our nervous systems, we know it does… and even more so for children.
Sometimes though, this is not enough… and you just need to say ‘no’ or hand it off to others. I think as a parent, many of us struggle with this, many women and moms in particular. We are on some level expected or feel we must to do it all… but in reality, this is not possible. We are not superhuman and super mom doesn’t really exist. It’s about choices, and aligning your choices with your values.
What do you value most? Where do you really want to focus your attention? What can you let go of? What would your best friend say to you?
Below are more tools you can access for support to empower yourself as a parent and in-turn your children.
Please reach out if you have any questions – I always love to hear from you!
ps. Please share with anyone you feel would benefit!