Stimming, Proprioception, & Primitive Reflexes: 3 Things Parents Should Know
3 Things Parents Should Know About Stimming, Proprioception & Primitive Reflexes
Children communicate through movement long before they communicate with words. Rocking, pacing, chewing, tapping fingers, or repeating motions may feel confusing at first — but these movements often have purpose. They’re connected to stimming, proprioception, and the influence of primitive reflexes that shape how a child self-calms and organizes their body.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why is my child doing this?” — you’re not alone. And the answer is usually rooted in the nervous system, not acting out.
Before we dive in, take a breath. You’re learning something new that can help you support your child with more confidence, compassion, and clarity.
What You’ll Learn About Stimming, Proprioception & Primitive Reflexes
Meaning of stimming and stimming examples your child may do
Stimming behaviours to calm the nervous system - your child is wise!
How to support your child's stimming if your intervention is needed
Proprioception activities to help calm your child's nervous system
The link between stimming, proprioception & neonatal primitive reflexes
Scroll down if you prefer to explore with me on YouTube!
Let's Speak to Stimming First: What It Is & Why It Matters
Stimming Meaning
If you’ve ever Googled “stimming meaning,” you’re not alone.
Stimming is any repetitive movement, sound, or behavior a child uses to regulate their nervous system.
Stimming — or self-stimulatory behaviour — is often misunderstood. Today, we know it’s less about “stimulation” and more about regulation, or calming the nervous system. Stimming helps children soothe themselves, focus, release energy, and feel grounded.
Adults stim too — tapping feet, twirling hair, pacing while thinking, humming, doodling. The difference is that neurodivergent children often need more frequent or noticeable stims to feel safe in their bodies.
Think of it as the body’s intuitive language. A child may stim when they feel overwhelmed, excited, unsure, or anxious. They are using the tools they have to find calm in their body, but often it can seem disruptive or even attention seeking.
Understanding what your child is doing helps to dissolves shame when we approach it from a strength-based perspective - they're trying to help themselves - and creates space for connection.
Stimming Examples: What It Can Look Like
Every child and person, has their own sensory profile, so stimming can look different from one child to another. Here are common stimming examples to help you notice patterns with more ease:
Motor Stimming - hand flapping, rocking, spinning, finger flicking, tapping feet, pacing
Oral Stimming - chewing on hair/ pencils, clicking tongue, sucking cheeks or lips
Vocal Stimming - humming, repeating words or sounds (echolalia), gulping
Visual Stimming - watching spinning toys, blinking, peeking sideways, lining up objects
Tactile Stimming - rubbing fabrics, repetitive touching, seeking preferred textures
Each of these gives you insight into what your child’s body is asking for — movement, texture, pressure, predictability, or grounding. It's really amazing how insightful and intuitive our children are!
Stimming Behaviours: When They’re Helpful & When Support Helps
Most stimming behaviours are healthy and regulating. We only intervene when safety or well-being is at risk. You may want to offer support if stimming:
causes accidental harm (biting, head banging)
becomes overwhelming or distressing for the child
significantly disrupts daily routines
signals nervous-system overload
But even then, the goal is never to stop stimming, only to support it. So if you notice your child stimming, I invite you to get curious as a sensory-supportive parent. Ask yourself:
What's happening in my child's world right now?
What is my child needing in this moment?
Is there a way I could support them further?
How to support your child's stimming, if needed:
offering safer alternatives (fidgets, chewelry, deep pressure tools)
meeting the sensory need early (movement breaks, proprioceptive play)
co-regulating through presence, calm tone, and connection
This gentle shift in mindset creates more safety, and safety supports a nourished nervous system. And for us as parents who may be triggered by it, often because we can feel they are overwhelmed, this reframe helps us to approach them from a strength-based perspective. This may also be a good reminder for us to nourish our nervous system and take some breaths, invite a little movement into our body, or go into nature together!
Our sensitive children often feel it before we can put it into words ourselves, so sometimes taking their cue can be really helpful for the whole family nervous system.
Proprioception: The Hidden Sense That Helps Kids Feel Grounded
Proprioception helps us to understand where we are in space. A classic example is when your arm is above your head and outside of your field of vision - you still know where it is. Proprioception helps us to understand our physical body, it's boundaries, contributes to coordination, and in a way helps us to ground. As you read in the stimming examples above, it can also provide nervous system soothing.
Children who crave proprioception may:
seek deep pressure & hug tightly
squeeze themselves into tight spaces
jump all over, be wild spinners & crash into couches
These aren’t “bad behaviours” - they’re the nervous system asking for more input. In our house, we flow with it, within reason (safety), but also build lots of outdoor time into our rhythm.
Here's a list of other proprioceptive activities:
pushing a laundry basket, carrying groceries, sweeping & watering plants
animal movement imitation & wall push-ups (safer than ground if doing many for children)
trampoline play (jumping on the bed safely), indoor silk swings, rocker or balance boards
clay or play dough (the wheel is fantastic for children!)
These “heavy work” movements calm the body, help develop coordination, and often reduce overwhelm-driven stimming.
The Link Between Stimming, Proprioception & Primitive Reflexes
These three elements don’t exist separately — they’re deeply interwoven in your child’s sensory world. If we look at holistic child development, it really is quite fascinating how our children tend to sensory seek the input that wasn't fully integrated. This is why I practice Holistic Developmental Integrative Therapy©.
A retained Moro reflex (startle) can increase sensitivity → which increases stimming
A retained Palmar reflex (hand) can affect fine motor control → increasing hand-based stims
Not feeling fully embodied or feeling anxious → increasing tactile (sensory seeking) or movement-seeking stimming (proprioception)
Proprioceptive activities support reflex integration → reducing distress-based stimming
Stimming helps calm the nervous system & when we do intentional movements we can also support integration of the primitive reflexes for optimal, holistic development of the neurological patterns!
Neonatal Primitive Reflexes: The Hidden Roots of "Regulation"
If you've been with me for a while, you know I'm not a fan of the term "regulation", but it's understood as calm, so I'll roll with it here. I don't agree with it because it suggests suppressing impulses or emotions, which is counter intuitive to Somatic expression.
Anyways... we are all born with automatic movements called neonatal primitive reflexes. They independently develop and ideally integrate between our time in utero until we are about 4. If we encourage our children to move through the stages of tummy time to walking and engaging in their sensory world, they generally become integrated. All are very important - with two I want to highlight here that really speak to the nervous system foundation:
Moro reflex (startle response)
Palmar reflex (automatic hand grasp)
These reflexes should integrate during infancy, but sometimes they remain active. When that happens, the nervous system may feel less settled. When retained or not fully integrated:
The Moro reflex can show up as big startle responses to stimuli and general anxiety
The Palmar reflex can show up as tactile seeking & struggles with writing or fine-motor tasks
This isn’t the child’s fault. Their body is simply doing its best with the wiring it has... AND we can support them in a playful way!
3 Things Parents Should Know About Stimming, Proprioception & Primitive Reflexes
Stimming is your child's intuitive way to calm themselves - reframing it can help to reduce the need to fix behaviours and open the door to understanding, connection & support
Unintegrated reflexes can lead to various types of stimming, from oral to kinaesthetic
Those sometimes crazy-making proprioceptive seeking activities - they support your child's coordination & nervous system
What if my child’s behaviour isn’t a choice, but a sign of an unintegrated reflex?
This reframing creates compassion, and opens the door to supportive movement-based activities. Every movement your child makes is communication.
When you understand the why, everything shifts. You stop reacting to or correcting the behaviour and can support their nervous system, to help foster connection and trust. And this reduces overwhelm for everyone!
Their body is speaking — and you are listening.
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🌺 Katie
Please note that this information is intended for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional for personalized guidance.
